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Archive for November, 2018

Friday, November 30th, 2018

Crazy Busy? 3 Steps To Take Back Control

Is your life feeling a little too hectic these days? Then it’s time to un-busy yourself. In Distraction S3 Mini 12, I share 3 easy ways to feel less busy and regain control of your day.

LISTEN NOW and learn how to combat the feeling of busyness and get in a state of flow.

If you need more tips on taking control of your time, try my CrazyBusy iPhone App for FREE. It will give you a high “worth-it” factor by providing you with possibly life-changing data that you have never looked at before.

Thursday, November 29th, 2018

Dr. Hallowell Family Lessons

I have a Crazy Family… and you may too. In fact, many, many people come from “crazy”. Listen to this great podcast with me and Dr Charles Parker on Corebrain Podcast. We discuss the lessons I learned from my family, my challenging childhood and why I became a Psychiatrist.

What to learn more about my strange childhood marked by what I call the “WASP triad” of alcoholism, mental illness, and politeness?  Read my Memoir: “Because I Come From A Crazy Family: The Making of A Psychiatrist.”

Tuesday, November 27th, 2018

Adult ADHD Support Group with Dr. Hallowell

Starting Nov 29, 2018 – Dr. Hallowell One-on-one Sessions! 6:00 PM to 7:30 PM
Hallowell Center NYC
Biweekly Adult ADHD Support Group led by Dr. Hallowell

Meets every other Thursday in Dr. Hallowell’s office at 6pm.Dr. Hallowell provides his world-renowned expertise and insight in an informal setting.

Sunday, November 18th, 2018

A Visionary’s Soliloquy

by Rebecca Shafir, M.A.CCC Personal Development and Executive Functioning coach at the Hallowell Center MetroWest

Theresa B. from Pittsburgh, PA writes:

“My mind is a jumble of ideas, and when I have a great one I want my exec team to get to  work on it ASAP. ( I probably have ADHD or something like that.) They roll their eyes, sit back and make me feel like a child. There have been times when my ideas cost us,I’ll credit them with that. But other times the company lost out because my team wouldn’t take me seriously.  Here’s the kicker: when they come to me with an idea, it’s almost a done deal. I’m just supposed to sign off every time! So frustrating. What can I do to get them to listen to my ideas with an open mind?”

It is hard to curb your enthusiasm when you can see a promising idea so clearly in your mind. You’re struck by the potential and the long term gains. However great the idea, it’s absolutely essential that you and your partners stand back 30,000 feet and examine the proposition carefully. Your brain, Theresa, the visionary’s brain, is a mystery to those with a more linear way of thinking.  As Dr. Ned Hallowell says, “You’ve got a race car brain with bicycle brakes.”  (It’s good they are not like you, can you imagine the chaos with an exec team made up of nothing but visionaries?)

To get heard, you need to step into their world and ask yourself a series of questions before you present your idea. I suggest you have 5 or so basic questions answered before you present a new idea to your exec team. Get these 5 questions from your partners. What kind of facts do they need to consider your idea?  They may be something like: What resources do we already have to make this happen? What resources do we need?  What will it cost? Does this idea support our brand or confuse our customers? Is anyone else doing this? Chances are, your partners address these kind of questions before they ask you to sign off on their projects. That’s the difference.

You may save yourself a lot of embarrassment and frustration if you take a step back and consider these questions first. Keep them handy so when a idea strikes you’ll ensure a captive audience.

Having trouble being heard, respected or appreciated for your contribution? Perhaps it’s your presentation that needs work. Let me help. Contact me at Rebecca@MindfulCommunication.com  

Tuesday, November 13th, 2018

ADHD, Borderline Personality Disorder and Relationships

People toss around the term “borderline” a lot, without knowing exactly what it means, so I am going to quote from the DSM-V the definition of Borderline Personality Disorder.

        A pervasive pattern of of instability of interpersonal relationships, self-image, and affects, and marked impulsivity, beginning by early adulthood and present in a variety of contexts as indicated by five or more of the following:

        1. Frantic efforts to avoid real or imagined abandonment

        2. A pattern of unstable and intense relationships characterized by alternating extremes of idealization and devaluation

        3. Identity disturbance: markedly and persistently unstable self-image

        4. Impulsivity in at least two areas that are potentially self-damaging (e.g. spending, sex, substance abuse, reckless driving, binge eating)

        5. Recurrent suicidal behavior, gestures, or threats, or self-mutilating behavior

        6. Affective instability due to a marked reactivity of mood

        7. Chronic feelings of emptiness

        8. Inappropriate, intense anger or difficulty controlling anger

        9. Transient, stress-related paranoid ideation or severe dissociative symptoms

         Since the term “Borderline” is used so loosely, and is common in discussions of people who have ADHD, particularly females, I thought it would be a good idea to present a clear definition.  While there is some cross-over between people who have ADHD and borderline personality disorder, it is rare in my experience.  People who have ADHD are commonly intense, but rarely borderline.

          Sometimes psychiatric diagnosis is used as a camouflaged way of insulting a person.  This is the case with borderline, often.  When a mental health professional does not like a female patient he will often call her borderline.  When he does not like a male patient, he will often call him a sociopath or an addict or both.

            Of course, in our profession we should aim to understand, not judge.  Used properly, the diagnosis of Borderline Personality Disorder can be a powerful tool in understanding a person and advancing treatment. 

Question:  If you are paired with someone with BPD, what are your best avenues to figuring out what to do to calm the relationship?  Are there particularly good resources?  See a therapist?

Answer:  There’s a good book called: Stop Walking on Eggshells: Taking Your Life Back When Someone You Care About Has Borderline Personality Disorder.  And yes, the BPD person REALLY needs to see a therapist for sure.  The best treatment is dialectical behavioral therapy.  And a couple therapist for sure.  It’s workable, and can make for a very intense, exciting relationship, but can also prove disastrous without the right help.

Tuesday, November 13th, 2018

Give Thanks

The time is coming to give thanks.  Thanksgiving is one of my favorite holidays.  I’m a holiday-lover, so there’s a lot of competition, but Thanksgiving always ranks near the top for me.

Let me give you a bullet-point list what I’m thankful for.  In no way is this complete.  I’m offering simply to prompt you all to do the same.

  • the freedom to change the station when the Kars for kids ad comes on
  • the slick look of pavement when it rains
  • Christmas season in New York City (I know this is a cliche, but I love it so)
  • the sausage grave my wife makes every Christmas morning
  • my wife, Sue (ok, another cliche, but if you knew her and all the she puts up with…)
  • of course, our 3 kids, now 29, 26, 23
  • our new dog, Max, 3 months old, 80 pounds, a rescue mutt from Alabama; he is systematically destroying our house but we love him to pieces anyway
  • Mozart’s Jupiter symphony
  • Tom Friedman and David Brooks columns in the NY Times (ok, so I am a liberal, I hope that’s all right)
  • That I am turning 69 and coming out with a new book with John Ratey in 2019
  • hot dogs with lots of mustard
  • and sauerkraut
  • taramasalata (it’s a Greek spread…. to die for)
  • the salt air when you cross over onto Cape Cod
  • NAMI
  • button-down collar shirts (I’m a preppy)
  • lying in bed, watching TV with Sue late at night
  • the fact that I can still play squash a little bit
  • all of you who read this newsletter!

…. what are your favorite things?

Dr. Hallowell’s 2018 Distraction S3 Mini 11 Thanksgiving message. 

Dr. Hallowell’s 2017 Thanksgiving message

Dr. Hallowell’s 2016 Thanksgiving message

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