Comments on: AVOID SPINNING IN ADD

By: Dr Hallowell

Dr Hallowell — Sun, 02 Aug 2009 14:59:20 +0000

Dear Suze,

Ned Hallowell here. You are certainly a very brave and good person. I am always impressed by how tough and strong so many people truly are. You have my deepest admiration. — Having said that, what help can I offer you? Most of what I know is in my books, and they are not expensive. Start with Delivered from Distraction. But then try Human Moments. You might get some ideas there as well. I think whatever you do, the key is not to focus exclusively on your husband or your negative feelings and thoughts. Focus also on your great kids. Focus on a piece of music (always have music playing, music that you like, it’s like having a constant friend with you). If you can get a pet, by all means do so. We have a Jack Russell terrier and he is like a walking anti-depressant. The more physical exercise you can get the better. If you have a spiritual connection, turn to it. If you can go to church or synagogue, it is a very good way to celebrate life—and develop new connections. Connection is the key. — I know I can’t fix everything, but I hope these ideas might bring you some relief and maybe some new ideas of your own. Warm wishes to you, and good luck

By: Suze

Suze — Fri, 31 Jul 2009 02:31:14 +0000

I’m coming to grips with the very real possibility that I have ADD. I’m a 43 yr old woman, and I have struggled with almost every symptom on the attentive checklist my entire life. I have been misdiagnosed I believe with PTSD/OCD for years. Why do I think this, simply because after years of choking down anti-depressants I’m still the same scatter-brained distracted person I’ve always been.

A very dear friend sent me the link to your site to help me, and she specifically wanted me to read this article. I can certainly understand why, I live in the shame pit and I see no clear way out of it.

My problem is this, my husband is bipolar and permanently disabled after a near fatal accident. I’m his primary care giver 24/7, I can’t work because he needs me. Because of his disease and the constant pain he is in, he is my harshest critic and my greatest fan depending on the moment. I can be the world’s worst mother and wife one minute, then a saint the next. You said to get rid of the people in your life that bring you down. But in my situation it’s quite impossible.

Isolation is also something I can’t avoid. I can’t leave him alone, and we can’t afford a nurse (I’ve tried believe me to get aid from the state, so that I could work, but no luck).

What practical advice can you give me just to get through the day? I forgot to add that I have been blessed with two beautiful amazing children, one of which I am coming to realize is just like Mom. So now I have the additional concern of getting help for him as well.

(I also have no insurance for myself, so I am pursuing the free clinics right now to get an official diagnosis)

You are my friends Hero, and I can see why, if you can offer me any advice I would be very grateful.

-Suze

By: Katherine Schlem

Katherine Schlem — Fri, 15 May 2009 15:46:13 +0000

Dear Dr. Hallowll,
Thank you so much for your book, Delivered from Distraction. I”m a dual diagnosis Bipolar II/ADHD – Inattentive Type. I have been under treatment with Wellbutrin SR, Lithium and Xanax for about a year now. About three months ago, my wonderful psychiatrist allowed me to start Strattera. I recently went back for a follow-up armed with your book and we have decided to add the Amantadine used by Dr. Singer as an additional therapy. All I can say after about 1 week on this combination, I feel better and have more energy and more organization than I ever have before. I finally have motivation to get work done and this says a lot as even in my manic phases at tims, I felt so lethargic I could barely pull myself off the couch. So thank you Dr. Hallowell and also to your friend, Dr. Singer. You may have saved my life and my marriage and made me a mother to be proud of.
Sincerely
Katherine Schlem
Also, feel free to contact me if you would care to.

By: Alissa DiRubbo

Alissa DiRubbo — Thu, 07 May 2009 01:17:17 +0000

Hello
I really need some help. I have had LD/ADHD all my life. I managed to get an MLS degree while working as a library assistant.
I’ve been working at a small academic college for almost 2 years. I teach, and peform librarian duties. I managed to keep things together and multi task
The problem is that my boss is an overachiever and works 24/7 at home and work. Now she has given an assignment where we have to write annotations for all online library resources by next wed. She knows I have LD/ADHD but she doesn’t care as long as she can volunteer for all these projects. I just cataloged all these faculty textbooks and she still doesn’t like it. I am trying to find another job, but there are none right now. I feel like crap and do not want to go back tomorrow.
I try very hard to multi-task, but I cannot stay up every night until 3 or 4 in the morning and go to work at 8:30. Kudos to those who can, but I cannot. Maybe I should just quit my job and go work in consolidated industries for the disabled.
Any suggestions for how to handle this?

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By: Robin

Robin — Thu, 22 Jan 2009 03:15:43 +0000

Dr. Hallowell,
I think your website is cruel. How can you NOT be isolated if your ADHD prevents you from forming relationships?? Just because you desperately want them doesn’t mean that people will accept you, or your ADHD!! You seem to think that just because someone wants something, they should be ENTITLED to have it, if they just want it enough. Nonsense. What about all those ostracized, isolated kids on the playground who desperately want friends, and are still isolated?
Your best self is who your are when the ADHD is at is least noticeable. I.E. when your meds are at their peak. Most people with ADHD are unbearable without them, myself included. Is that ‘negativity’? NO it’s a FACT!! Just like ADHD is absolutely NOT a gift. It’s a disorder, an impairment, no different from any other developmental affliction. If your fortunate enough to have spent THOUSANDS of dollars on therapy and treatment, you might find ways of adapting to your impairments. And that’s what the therapy is for!! Adaptation!! Learning how to adapt to the world, and be as ‘normal’ as possible. Most of of will not be so fortunate as to be a CEO, or rich enough to afford extravagant therapy fees. So us ‘poor people’ will have to make do with medication. I’m not sorry for myself, or expect anybody to take care of me. Like so many with ADHD, we have to learn to get by without social support, since websites like these continue to spout the ‘rubbish’ that there’s nothing wrong with us. So we become lonely, begging someone to tell us what we’re doing wrong. DON’T ASSUME WE HAVE FRIENDS.

By: Kathy

Kathy — Fri, 07 Nov 2008 23:33:42 +0000

Hi Dr. Hallowell,
My family physician gave me your website and I’ve enjoyed reading up on ADHD. My husband and I have custody of our 7 year old grandson who has just been diagnosed with a “turbo brain”. I ordered omega-3 capsules today and we are going to try a TSS worker for extra help in school. I feel very pressured by his teacher to put him on medication. What are your feelings about Ritalin and other ADHD meds?
Thank you, Kathy

By: T

Mon, 24 Mar 2008 16:47:24 +0000

Hello, I’m spinning in the seventh circle of procrastinating hell this morning and came upon this blog. I really liked the SPIN definition/description, but have a comment/question. You wrote:
“Not only does shame hurt, it also is the chief cause of a huge problem in adults who have ADD, namely, the inability to feel good about their achievements. It is common for ADD adults to be all but impervious to positive remarks. Whatever they have legitimately achieved they feel must have been done by someone else, or by accident.
One of the main reasons adults with ADD can’t take pleasure in their own successes and creations is, simply, shame. They feel too ashamed to feel good. They feel too defective to feel nourished. They feel it is practically immoral to feel proud of themselves. Healthy pride is such an alien emotion that they have to look back into the dim recesses of their childhoods to find the last time they felt proud of themselves, if they can find an instance even then.”
Is shame really a chief cause of “the inability to feel good about their achievements”, or an effect that amplifies the cause of the problem? Maybe we are all but impervious to positive remarks or have difficulty feeling proud of ourselves simply because we’re not generating enough dopamine in response in the first place?
Labeling shame as the problem seems analogous to treating the “underlying depression” when ADD is the core issue. Treat my ADD, give me enough alarm clocks/ reminders/ graphical organizers, etc., and I’ll be the happiest person on the planet!)
…back after hours of self-education – Googling to you! – on dopamine to ask: is ADD possibly the result of a problem or uneven activity within the brain opioid pathway (which governs “liking” or feeling pleasure), which then influences the production of dopamine (the “wanting”, motivation pathway)? If so then exercising makes a lot of sense – producing all those endorphins would have a positive effect on the production of dopamine.

By: kim

kim — Fri, 07 Mar 2008 18:21:30 +0000

My now 10 y/o son was diagnosed at the age of 4 by our school district with “Autistic Tendancies”. He received fine/gross motor skills therapy for 1 year. Then at the age of 7 he was diagnosed by a professional with ADD with inattention. I have ALWAYS felt he was mis-diagnosed with ADD and showed many signs for Asperger Syndrom. I was hoping you could tell me what the difference is between the two disorders, so I can be certain he was correctly diagnosed. And if there was an online test you could direct me to to figure this out. Thank you for your help. Sincerely Mrs K Franzese

By: Spirited Away

Spirited Away — Mon, 03 Mar 2008 08:57:51 +0000

Dear Dr Hallowell,
thank you SO VERY MUCH for this article! You saved my life!