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Dr. Hallowell's Blog

“My/our marriage would be much better if only my ADHD partner would change.” Sound familiar?

IT IS EASIER TO CHANGE YOURSELF THAN THE OTHER PERSON

By Sue George Hallowell

It is easier to look at your partner’s behavior than to evaluate your own and consider how you might be contributing to the issues in the relationship. It is also simpler to define a problem and look for your partner to change or “fix it” than to consider the shifts you might make in order to address your needs in a way that does not ask your partner to be someone they are not.

Couples are in my office hoping for their partner to change. First I begin by helping each couple understand a few key points about people, relationships, and the flaw in their initial stance.

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